Critical Mass's Controversial Burnley Tunnel Ride... And What Happened Afterwards : Melbourne Indymedia

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Critical Mass, for those who don't know, is a monthly pro-bicycle anti-car-side-effects rally, which last month (27 June) rode the Burnley Tunnel, attracting more corporate media attention than ever, little of it positive (unsurprisingly).

For instance, Channel 10 news on the eve of the Mass: "Police are under fire for allowing a radical protest group to ride through the Burnley Tunnel... an estimated 350 cyclists will bring traffic to a standstill... police have no choice but to block the tunnel... infuriating motorists."

Opposition Leader Robert Doyle: "Are we at the point where lunatic minorities run the state?" [N.B. there appeared to be no reporting by any corporate media of Critical Mass's reason for the protest, so one assumes the 'insanity' can be diagnosed by politicians/amateur psychiatrists merely based on a strong desire to ride bicycles in a car-only area.]

A police spokesman said police were making the only sensible decision by blocking off the tunnel. A shocked newsreader reported that "this protest will cost Citylink $30,000."

Almost unbelievably, this was followed by a 'gee whiz!' story about Citylink charging motorists $5 to register to be able to pay for occasional use of their freeways... [i.e. if Victorian country and interstate people don't want to pay through the nose for use, they must all pay $5 up front whether or not they actually end up using Citystink's services at all.] A nice little earner for the greedy bastards, who were made to sound like heroes in the report. [More great reporting later: a new 'superpill' 'should' be taken by all older Australians to prevent heart disease & stroke. The possibility of side effects goes unquestioned.]

Mr Doyle was also interviewed for The Age the same day, calling the Mass "ridiculous political correctness gone mad." he said it "has the smell of a professionally organized S11/M1 type protest." [N.B. the S11 protest he was referring to was unassociated with the twin towers destruction, he cleverly neglected to mention.]

'Professionally organized,' hunh. I'm sure the volunteer Critical Mass organizers I've spoken to will be happy they'll soon be receiving payment [the definition of 'professional'] from their 'red masters.' By the way it's surprising the U.S. haven't yet caught the leaders of the M1 etc. anti-globalisation protests. That Saddam Hussein and his weapons-of-mass-destruction-builders sure are elusive. Bwahahaha.

Police Minister Mr Haermeyer also bagged the Mass, calling it "an outrageous impediment upon most people wanting to go home on a Friday night."

One presentable Mass-goer (no, not either of our 'fashion models') was actually interviewed a number of times by media before the Mass. One must however remember that amongst the barrage of corporate-owned-corporate-positive ain't-the-mainstream-wonderful reporting, any attempt at balance is, how you say, pushing le merde up le hill.
OK, to the Mass itself already: on the way there, I got off to a good start by being almost killed [again] on the way to it by a car. "INDICATE!" I scream.

About 300 attended, according to a Very [picture 1] reliable source. Some spared no effort to dress for the occasion [pic 2]. There was an extra large police presence [pic 3]. From what I saw they were quite professional and efficient.

A minor incident in the city while I was in a separate split which got one policeman yelling a lot, I'm told [maybe with good cause, I forgot to ask the very reliable kid]. Another ride through Crown Carpark [pic 4] which I found rather boring (why not take bikes into the actual instead casino people) but many enjoyed.

After a short wait while police blocked the Tunnel off to cars, we were in [pic 5]. A nice downhill ride, a bit reminiscent of the movie THX1138 with Citylink security guards spaced regularly along the side of the tunnel, various 'Obey' signs and the same recorded announcement booming surreally over and over [pic 6].

The tunnel air hadn't changed since my last ride up it [http://melbarchive.indymedia.org/front.php3?article_id=7905], it was still very short of oxygen in the middle. A man in a boat-like recumbent agreed, saying it was shocking and 'stank of lead.'

Pic 7 shows us the evil Cyclists Of The Apocalypse in the tunnel as no doubt seen thru the darkly beerglass bottoms of Herald Sun journalists. Pic 8: one on the two Mass portable sound systems. Pic 9: an attractive [retro adjective] retro protester.
Pics 10 & 11: at the end of the tunnel. Hooray!

I spoke to a number of riders after the tunnel ride who all said they'd had a great time. One rider said it had 'a good ambience. Not as many arrogant people as on some.' Well, maybe my therapy's working.

Beat-up coverage from major media about the Mass persisted for a couple of days after it.
A couple of weeks later the Motorcycle Riders Association decided tunnel protests were a good idea and held their own. Channel 10 reported it as "City Link's tunnels are again being used as a protest platform, this time by angry motorcyclists... they motorcyclists will clog the Burnley Tunnel in a peak hour protest" but unlike Critical Mass would leave one or two lanes open.

[Surely this could have been an option for police also with Critical Mass, rather than blocking off the whole tunnel? Perhaps they were concerned that cyclists, being generally less scary looking than motorcyclists, would be bashed by car drivers, or might die from inhaling smog.]

Mr Bracks commented that 'alienating the Victorian public' was 'not the best way to gain supporters.'

The bikers, I discovered elsewhere, were protesting against a few things including an excessive and recently inflated road toll payable to use the tunnel, which they did not pay during their ride.

In an article by Neil Mitchell in The Hun [Herald Sun] of 16 July he unsurprisingly abused both cyclists and motorcyclists for not being in cars, and labelled all Critical Massers as anarchists. He then claimed that the MRA scaled back their planned protest after backing down to Citylink, who "fought threat with threat and said if the protest went ahead the motorcyclists could be sued for lost revenue and other costs."

If this is fair dinkum, it could be a threat which might successfully stop more Critical Mass rides in the Burley Tunnel. Which wouldn't stop us riding elsewhere, of course. Other 'stop the tunnel ride' tactics might include a police blockade, which would have the side effect of blocking cars also, or anti-globalisation-rally-type illegal police violence, which it is rumored was mooted by government some time ago but is an unpopular idea with the underpaid uniformed crew.

To be fair, one can understand the annoyance of many overworked commuter motorists. No doubt 'something' will be 'done' in time, the trend in large cities is a gradually increasing suppression of all types of dissent. In time the most embarrassing of us will be shot in the streets, as happens in some South American countries already.

A Hunpoll of 17 July asked 'Should motorcycle riders be allowed to protest in the Burnley tunnel?' 61% responded 'No.' But only 342 people rang in for the poll. Because it was to a 1900 number which the working/sub-working classes couldn't afford to ring? Well not entirely: over 2,000 calls were received recently on the issue of 'Should all churches approve the ordination of gay clergy?' It seems that the public just don't hate Critical Mass protesters as much as the corporate media would like us to. Not yet, anyway.

Perhaps even The Hun has been a little corrupted by the Mass. A day after that poll, they actually printed a pro-Mass letter by one Peter Robertson:

"Surprise surprise. The major cause of Melbourne's increasingly filthy air is the motor car.
Melbourne is fast becoming car clogged. Everyday, main roads are congested traffic sewers, ribbons of asphalt that carry poisons into our air.
Perhaps the selfish motorists and talkback shock-jocks who went crazy with indignation at the Critical Mass bike ride through Burnley tunnel will think again.
There is a solution to our reliance on the motor car; it is the bicycle and better public transport."

I know I'll be part of the solution again this Friday at 5:30PM outside the State Library (corner Swanston and Latrobe Sts). Hope to see you there on your bicycle, tricycle, unicycle, skates, skooter or board.

[Photos and text © Copyright 2003 Steven Stevenson, copyright of excerpted authors remains with them. Article with photos may be reprinted in entirety only, including this statement, and only for non-profit purposes, otherwise ask.]

http://criticalmass.org.au/